How much is appropriate to spend on a wedding gift?
This question comes up ALL of the time, and it seems to be a different answer depending on different situations.
As of this year, the average monetary gift I have seen given is about $100 per person. (I've been to a dozen weddings from Boston to NC in the past 2 years.) So a couple attending would give appx. $200. (Coincidentally, $100 happens to be an average reception plate cost.)
I've collected some of these rules-of-thumb/exceptions over the past few years:
1. In the most Northeast states, guests give a monetary wedding gift. Go to a wedding in the south from Virginia on down, and you'll see that people actually bring gifts.
2. There is a misconception that you must cover the plate cost of the reception...NO, NO NO!! It is the couple or the couple's parents, etc. that chose HOW and WHERE to have that wedding. I attended a wedding in NJ in 2005 that cost the bride's father more that $250 per guest. It's not the guests' responsibility to take care of all of that cost.
3. If you are bringing an actual gift, its value should be the same amount as what you would give them in cash. I say "value" because if you are buying $200 would of dinnerware off of the couple's registry, and got it on sale for $150, the value is still $200 (the regular price on the registry).
3. If the married couple is close family or friends, you'll probably give a bit more.
4. If it is known that you, as the guest, is in college or other professional school, or have lost a job or some other income-lowering type of situation, you do not have to try to give such a large gift (give what you can afford).
5. If the married couple is having a non-traditional wedding, without the 5 hour reception and cocktail hour, etc., and is having a brunch or tea, or hosting the reception in a small community hall or center, the gift could be less than the average. Again, you may be realizing that the plate cost is much less, but don't make your gift decision based solely on that.
6. If you were invited to a wedding and cannot attend, you should still send some type of gift.
7. If you are part of the bridal party, you should expect to pay for your dress or tuxedo plus a gift. Before accepting the invitation to be in a bridal party, the guest should confirm what costs may be associated (i.e. the dress/tux, shared cost of a bridal shower with other bridesmaids, hair/makeup, parties, tips, etc.)
5 Answers
I think it depends on how well you know the couple and what you're relationship is. If you're the parents or grandparents, then obviously you would spend quite a lot, perhaps ~500 and up. If you're relatives, I would say ~200 or more, depending on how close you are. If you're good friends, say ~100-150, depending on how close, again. If you're acquaintances, perhaps ~50-75 would be appropriate. Of course, this depends on how much you can spend on a gift. Sometimes sentimental gifts are more appropriate, and you can't really put value on those.
All in all, the couple only gets married once, and if you're close, then I would think you want to help the couple begin their lives together as much as you can.
The amount you spend on a wedding gift depends on your relationship with the bride and groom. Immediate family and close friends should receive a pricier gift than say a distant relative or acquaintance.
A good reference point is to check the invitation and find out where the reception is being held. At the very least you should cover the price of you and your guest's dinner.
I'd say, spend what you're comfortable with. If you know the couple and are close, spend high or go for sentimental. If you're a guest of a guest or just an acquaintance, look for something standard. Usually there's affordable things on the registry, if not. Get a gift card to a local restaurant or store and a thoughtful card.
In these tough economic times, being frugal and thoughtful count more.
This question comes up ALL of the time, and it seems to be a different answer depending on different situations.
As of this year, the average monetary gift I have seen given is about $100 per person. (I've been to a dozen weddings from Boston to NC in the past 2 years.) So a couple attending would give appx. $200. (Coincidentally, $100 happens to be an average reception plate cost.)
I've collected some of these rules-of-thumb/exceptions over the past few years:
1. In the most Northeast states, guests give a monetary wedding gift. Go to a wedding in the south from Virginia on down, and you'll see that people actually bring gifts.
2. There is a misconception that you must cover the plate cost of the reception...NO, NO NO!! It is the couple or the couple's parents, etc. that chose HOW and WHERE to have that wedding. I attended a wedding in NJ in 2005 that cost the bride's father more that $250 per guest. It's not the guests' responsibility to take care of all of that cost.
3. If you are bringing an actual gift, its value should be the same amount as what you would give them in cash. I say "value" because if you are buying $200 would of dinnerware off of the couple's registry, and got it on sale for $150, the value is still $200 (the regular price on the registry).
3. If the married couple is close family or friends, you'll probably give a bit more.
4. If it is known that you, as the guest, is in college or other professional school, or have lost a job or some other income-lowering type of situation, you do not have to try to give such a large gift (give what you can afford).
5. If the married couple is having a non-traditional wedding, without the 5 hour reception and cocktail hour, etc., and is having a brunch or tea, or hosting the reception in a small community hall or center, the gift could be less than the average. Again, you may be realizing that the plate cost is much less, but don't make your gift decision based solely on that.
6. If you were invited to a wedding and cannot attend, you should still send some type of gift.
7. If you are part of the bridal party, you should expect to pay for your dress or tuxedo plus a gift. Before accepting the invitation to be in a bridal party, the guest should confirm what costs may be associated (i.e. the dress/tux, shared cost of a bridal shower with other bridesmaids, hair/makeup, parties, tips, etc.)
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The past couple of weddings I went to were real close friends, thus I knew how much per plate they were paying and I just matched that. So if the plate was $125 and I brought a date - $250.
If that bit of information wasn't available I judged on how close I was with the couple and typically have spent on average about $100 per person (so with date $200) which I felt was enough.
Knowing what they are providing at the wedding helped me make the decisions, whether there was open bar, price per plate for dinner, etc.