Is it okay to approach women at the gym?
...and what would the best way be without coming off as a douche?
I think the most important thing about approaching a woman at the gym is to pay attention to body language. Remember that first and foremost people go there to work out.
If you see someone with headphones on and focused on their workout, just leave them be. But if you see an attractive girl maybe struggling with how to work a machine, or leaves behind her towel, or seems lost, then go ahead and be a gentleman and help out.
Be friendly but not creepy. Smile and say hi but don't be a nuisance. Know when to end the conversation and let her get back to her workout. Don't let her think you only came to the gym to hit on women.
9 Answers
Unless your gym is a well known scene, ala Crunch on Sunset in LA, I would say no (with two caveat).
No because they're there to work out. If they're employed, then double that negative: they got places to go, things to do, and potentially someone they're desperately trying to attention from outside of the gym, hence them getting in shape. Most ladies I know are going to the gym to actually work out, they'll not be in their best make up, clothes, and they're going to work up a sweat - not what they'll consider a good time to be flirting.
caveat 1: You've been making eyes with one lady for a while at the gym. Test the water with a normal conversation. If you're there at 6-8:30AM, figure they're trying to get out to work, so observe comments above - but it could be good groundwork for a meeting off site.
caveat 2: The lady's there to pick up dudes, is putting on a show, and in that case, get your valtrex prescription set up and go to work.
Whatever you do, do not listen to Lee.
Javier has it, Ladies go to the gym to work out. Conversation attempts should be saved for before/after workouts.
Sinit, the correct answer is absolutely.
It is always ok to approach women. You will date 0% of the women you never approach.
Here's how you do it without looking like a douche:
1.)Change your attitude
First you need to get rid of that strong, silent attitude most guys in the gym have. It seems like every guy in the gym has a look on his face that screams "I wish I was taller." Don't be that guy.
Instead get to know everyone. Guys and girls. Know them by name. Get your workout in, but don't neglect being social. That way you get noticed as a naturally social butterfly and it won't seem creepy when you approach strangers.
2.) Approach her
If she's wearing headphones and in the zone- leave her be.
If not, or better yet if she makes eye contact with you, you have a green light.
-Ask her if you can work in on her machine
Very simple and innocent. Ask her how many sets she has left and if you can work in with her. Be sure to towel off between sets so she doesn't get grossed out.
-Ask her for a spot
A little more bold, and a little too obvious. Why would you ask her for a spot when there are tons of capable guys around. Unlike Lee, I would put on an embarrassingly low amount of weight and pretend to struggle-who knows, you may get a laugh, and it won't look like you're trying to impress her.
-Ask her about a particular machine
Woman love using machines that guys would never touch. The leg abductor, the tricep kickback machine, the laying leg curl, you get the picture. Machines you know men shouldn't be using.
It's still a great opportunity to strike up a conversation. Ask her if it works, how to do it, does she get sore, etc.
3.) Ask for her name
This is very important because unless you look like Brad Pitt, you probably won't be taking her home the same day.
The key is to develop a working relationship. One where you say hi to her every time you see her at the gym. By approaching her the first time, asking for her name, and then leaving her alone, you don't look like a douche or creep.
4.)Small talk and getting her to laugh
Make sure to smile.
Say hi every time you see her in the gym. Tell her that calf exercise she told you about made you really sore (yeah, right).
Tease her for not seeing her enough, tell her she's been slacking on her workout. That she's been staying home and reading too many Twilight books and not taking her workout seriously. Anything to make her laugh.
If she defends her workout ask her to flex her bicep for you. When you see her flexing as hard she can, give it a gentle squeeze- then tell her "Ok, now flex."
Tell her that you stopped working out so much because you started getting too big and were scaring little children.
When she starts to see you as a hilarious fun loving guy, you will no longer be the douche that approached her at the gym.
You will be the awesome guy taking her out for her drinks this weekend.
yup... 'The Haut Spot' has an asnwer a million times better than mine. Mine was just an idea that I have yet to use.
Thanks for the very detailed answer.
The answer has already been laid out beautifully by The Haute Spot, but I am going to add one more thing. If a woman is being approached at the gym it is going to boost her confidence and make her feel good. She's sweaty, hair is a mess and not is not looking 'her best,' and yet you still want to approach her with the idea of possibly asking her out. What a compliment.
So in my opinion, yes. Just be a gentleman about it because she IS there to do her business.
I think the most important thing about approaching a woman at the gym is to pay attention to body language. Remember that first and foremost people go there to work out.
If you see someone with headphones on and focused on their workout, just leave them be. But if you see an attractive girl maybe struggling with how to work a machine, or leaves behind her towel, or seems lost, then go ahead and be a gentleman and help out.
Be friendly but not creepy. Smile and say hi but don't be a nuisance. Know when to end the conversation and let her get back to her workout. Don't let her think you only came to the gym to hit on women.
Be funny; Set up the bench-press with a large amount of weight, and ask the girl you're keen on to help spot you. If she's a tiny number, it will add to the humour. After your set, you're open to conversation.
Scientifically, girls are more open to advances at the gym - something about seeing sweaty men and having their heart-rates up... I'm sure wikipedia can source that.