1]a 70-200 vr zoom.
2]and a wide prime lens.
don't throw away the kit zoom.
they might seem expensive but they hold their value

3sdhc cards fast one's[higher the class the faster the card]
.i actually prefer lexar and kingston more value for money

4]the rest(tripods/flash etc) try not to buy them until you need them .and for a tripod i recommend one of those crappy 15$ no brand stuff.just so you can figure out what you want in a tripod

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get a solid 50mm 1.4 (top of the line nikon = $500) and a 2.8 zoom lens like the 24-70 (like 1.7k) alot to pay for a lens but you will be able to keep it forever and it has a superior performance of course there you are paying for ED full frame glass but, definitely ditch the kit lens, and buy UV filters for the front they protect your expensive glass and filter some UV to make everything better, and maybe the battery grip if you don't mind getting looks from people. and always carry your lens hood.

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I shoot with a D90, doing commercial and portrait work.

Lenses:
-the 35mm f/1.8 that people have been mentioning is rock solid and takes beautiful pictures, as an added bonus it weighs practically nothing and it's cheap. I'd be happy throwing that on my camera for the whole day
-A telephoto lens. You'll need it if you want to shoot sports, nature, or more professional headshots (headshot pros will use huge 300mm 2.8 lenses to get the right perspective and throw the background out of focus) I use the "Nikkor 70-300 VR"http://www.adorama.com/NK70300AFVRU.html, it's one of Nikon's best kept secrets, a really awesome lens. Or, if you're looking to save money here, the 55-200mm VR is cheaper and more portable
Tripod:
-a really good tripod is the most important thing you'll buy to get tack sharp, professional results. I'd look at Gitzo or Manfrotto legs and a Really Right Stuff or Manfrotto ballhead (ballheads are more convenient than 3-way heads) Buy the best you can afford, it's an investment and you'll use it pretty much every day you shoot
Cards:
-Get fast cards. I really like the high-end Sandisks
Flash:
I'd defer to David Hobby over at Strobist for all things off camera flash related, it's where I learned.
Other stuff:
-Any bag you like from ThinkTank
-A solid camera strap made from recycled car seatbelts from Photojojo.

All of this is a solid kit that should last a long time and be incredibly versatile. Good luck!

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