Typically we use soap to try and remove the scent of booze from our person, but Allsorts Liquor Scented Soap ($5) embraces it by covering you in a booze-scented lather that'll have you yearning for a drink before you even step out of the shower. Both organic and vegan-friendly, these responsibly-produced bars come in scents like gin and tonic, whiskey sour, screwdriver, and prohibition spiced rum, and feature an adventure suggestion from Chicago's prohibition era printed on the wrapper.
Get yourself clean Tyler Durden-style with Fight Club Soap ($20). Inspired by Chuck Palahniuk's novel and sporting the logo of the film adaptation, this caffeinated, color-matched pink soap is completely usable, although that kind of defeats the point.
Whether you're working or boozing late into the night, odds are you're going to wake up looking like Uncle Fester — at least around the eyes (the bald head is reserved for those with really dick friends). Nivea Eye Roller Gel ($9) is here to help you combat this condition. Harnessing the benefits of your skin's own Coenzyme Q10, which helps produce energy and works as an antioxidant to defend against free radicals, this gel glides on smoothly thanks to a rolling metal ball applicator, leaving you looking as fresh as those pantywaists that went to bed before last call.
The new Old Spice Fresh Collection ($5) at first seems a bit odd (who really wants to smell like "well-known lands" from across the globe?), but these subtle-scented antiperspirant/deodorants are indeed worthy of their worldliness. The destination-inspired, light-yet-manly scents include (in our rank of freshershist to fresh): Matterhorn ("smells like ice, wind & freedom"), Denali ("smells like wilderness, open air & freedom"), Cyprus ("smells like limes, an ocean breeze & freedom"), and Fiji ("smells like palm trees, sunshine & freedom"). Do your armpits a favor and introduce them to the world.
No matter how hard we try, we're still guys, and we tend not to take care of our hands as much as our partners would prefer. On The Job Hand Regimen ($19) does the hard work for you, with a waterless Hand Cleaner that removes dirt, paint, grease, and other nasty stuff by getting in between the dirt and your skin, a tough Hand Armor that forms a breathable polymer glove over your skin to help make cleanup even easier, and a dual-action Hand Lotion that packs a first-aid antiseptic and penetrating moisturizers to leave your hands feeling as soft as they should.