Despite its elitist reputation, rowing is one of the most effective workouts around. Now you can get a real rowing experience in the comfort of your own home with the WaterRower Rowing Machine ($900-$2,500). The secret is the machine's WaterFlywheel, which is designed to emulate the exact dynamics of a boat moving through water, and thus offers the peacefulness of moving water, a proper rhythm of motion, and smooth motion not found in typical resistance rowing machines. It'll not only get you into shape, but also prepare you for the day when you win the lottery and suddenly need to find some common ground with your Ivy League neighbors.
Nope, that's not a typo, nor is it a joke. J&D's Baconlube ($12) is a water-based massage oil and personal lubricant that tastes like the fried pork product we all know and love. "It's like the McRib of sex", say the creators. "It's delicious, makes men crazy, is here for a limited time and is in short supply." It's also either naughty but tolerable or straight-up disgusting. We'll leave it up to you to decide.