Keeping track of your health is hard. The Basis Health Monitor ($200) makes it easy. It's a watch, so you don't look weird wearing it around, and it packs a galvanic skin response sensor to track your sweatiness — and an optical sensor to track bloodflow — to paint an accurate picture of your health. Which means less doctor visits. Which means fewer hours spent looking at the tongue depressor jar.
Despite its elitist reputation, rowing is one of the most effective workouts around. Now you can get a real rowing experience in the comfort of your own home with the WaterRower Rowing Machine ($900-$2,500). The secret is the machine's WaterFlywheel, which is designed to emulate the exact dynamics of a boat moving through water, and thus offers the peacefulness of moving water, a proper rhythm of motion, and smooth motion not found in typical resistance rowing machines. It'll not only get you into shape, but also prepare you for the day when you win the lottery and suddenly need to find some common ground with your Ivy League neighbors.
Nope, that's not a typo, nor is it a joke. J&D's Baconlube ($12) is a water-based massage oil and personal lubricant that tastes like the fried pork product we all know and love. "It's like the McRib of sex", say the creators. "It's delicious, makes men crazy, is here for a limited time and is in short supply." It's also either naughty but tolerable or straight-up disgusting. We'll leave it up to you to decide.
Trips to the sleep clinic are expensive. The Zeo Sleep Manager ($100) is not. This sophisticated system consists of a sensor headband that tracks your actual sleep stages through the night and an iOS app that sorts through all the data, providing you with colorful, easily digestible charts and pointers on how you can enjoy more restful sleep. Oh, and it also functions as an alarm, waking you up at the optimal point in your sleep cycle. Zeo: because your smartphone didn't know enough about you already.
Integrating kettlebells into your workout is a great way to quickly build muscle — but they aren't exactly the most attractive things to have laying around your house or office. Demonbells ($80-$200) aim to solve that problem by adding detailed face designs — and a lot of attitude — to the front, making them equal parts fitness tool and conversation piece. [Scouted by Brandon]