"Why, yes, that is an iPhone docked on top of that sideways refrigerator. Would you like to hear it? Okay, just stand way, way, way over there, because the 10,000 Watts being pumped out by the Behringer iNuke Boom ($30,000) — no, it's not really a fridge, and I heard that every time someone says 'nuke' and 'fridge' in the same sentence, an Ewok dies — are likely to bust your eardrums. What's that? You'd like to take it outside? Well good luck, pal — it weighs 700 pounds. Why don't we just turn it up louder, and run to the door before the song starts? Sounds like a plan."
Looking to do some recording with your iOS device? Unless you want sub-par sound, you're going to need a beefier mic — one like the Tascam iM2 Stereo Microphone ($80). Made specifically for the iPad, iPhone, and iPod Touch, this pocket-sized powerhouse features two high-quality, adjustable condenser microphones, an internal microphone pre-amp and analog-to-digital converter for pristine sound, a stereo limiter to quiet sudden loud sounds — like gunshots — and a USB port for keeping things charged up while you're recording. Great for interviews, concerts, and attracting inquisitive "What the hell is sticking out of his iPhone?" stares.