Getting stranded somewhere is never pleasant, but with the Eton Voice Link Radio ($150), you'll at least have some piece of mind. The compact voice link AM/FM radio offers two-way talk via any Family Radio Service-enabled device, receives both General Mobile Radio Service transmissions and weather advisories from the National Oceanic & Atmospheric Administration, and features a bright LED flashlight, cell phone charger, a siren, a digital clock, and a hand-crank charger. See? Peace of mind.
Being successful as a pirate was as much about sailing as it was about looting and pillaging, and to be a good sailor, you've got to know where you're going. The Pirate Scope ($70) is much like the ones used in the pirates' heyday, but with modern improvements like high-quality, coated achromatic lenses that magnify up to 25x and a precision-crafted brass body. Plus, it collapses down to a manageable 5.5-inches, and comes with a mahogany storage chest.