Toasteroid Toaster

Whether you're making an accompaniment to your morning meal or adding an extra bit of crunch to a sandwich, the Toasteroid Toaster makes burning your bread far more fun. Inside its die-cast aluminum body is a series of microfilaments that let you toast graphics, messages, or nearly anything else you want right into your bread, from emojis to the day's weather forecast. Of course, it also lets you set your preferred darkness, and even preview it in the app — no more mysterious dials to fiddle with. The full size version lets you toast and print on two slices at a time, while the Mini can still toast two slices simultaneously, but can only print on one. No word on how it works with Pop Tarts or Eggos.