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Garmin Tracker

Have a pet, kid, luggage, vehicle, or scandalous wife you need to keep track of? Grab yourself a Garmin Tracker ($200). This tiny GPS locator is both lightweight and waterproof, attaching easily to a backpack, pet collar, or rear seat headrest. With it you get one year of standard tracking, which lets you see its location via computer or via app, the latter of which also allows you to draw a geofence, complete with email or SMS notifications when the Tracker leaves your designated area — kinda like a shock collar fence, but without the inhumane treatment.

  • Buben & Zorweg Python V12 Watch Winder

    Have so many expensive watches that you don't have time to wear them all? Keep them in good condition with the Buben & Zorweg Python V12 Watch Winder ($55,500). Inspired by yachts and automotive classics, this nauseatingly extravagant winder has spots for either 12 or 36 watches — four of which get the spotlight treatment — as well as LED lighting, a weather station, humidor, and bar, with hand-stitched Italian leather and high-gloss walnut accents. Should look great next to that solid-gold grandfather clock.

  • Blackbird Lucky 13 Guitar

    Inspired by early 20th century 12th fret guitars, the Blackbird Lucky 13 Guitar ($1,800) packs full-size sound into a three-quarter sized body. This is made possible by the Lucky 13's hollow-neck carbon fiber construction and head mounted Stereo Sound Port, which combine to offer a fuller sound. Other features include a 3D sculpted back, a unique 13th fret neck connection that allows for greater fret access while retaining the tonally preferable bridge placement, and a classic shape that mixes the new and old with class and style.