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Hennessey VelociRaptor APV

Looking to hire your own personal army, or just big enough of a dick that you fear an assassination attempt? Ride in safety and style in the Hennessey VelociRaptor APV ($TBA). Based on the Ford Raptor Super Crew and able to withstand small arms fire, this Armored Performance Vehicle can also get you out of harm's way — and fast — thanks to a supercharged 6.2L V8 pumping out 575 hp. Other optional features include seating for up to eight, satellite TV, high-speed internet, and the ability to be mistaken for a senator, president, drug lord, or some other person of great importance/power/wealth/mulletude.

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