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Nivea Eye Roller Gel

Nivea Eye Roller Gel

Whether you're working or boozing late into the night, odds are you're going to wake up looking like Uncle Fester — at least around the eyes (the bald head is reserved for those with really dick friends). Nivea Eye Roller Gel ($9) is here to help you combat this condition. Harnessing the benefits of your skin's own Coenzyme Q10, which helps produce energy and works as an antioxidant to defend against free radicals, this gel glides on smoothly thanks to a rolling metal ball applicator, leaving you looking as fresh as those pantywaists that went to bed before last call.

  • Bread & Butter Skincare Kit

    Keep clean and looking good while being your old, lazy self. Bread & Butter Skincare ($85) sends you a Winter Kit with all your bathroom essentials as soon as you place your order, and then in the first week of June, they'll send you their Summer Kit with warm weather specific face stuff. The winter kit includes two tubes of daily face cleanser, two tubes of daily face moisturizer, a stick of daily lip balm, and a sample of daily body moisturizer, while the summer kit comes with two tubes of daily face cleanser, two tubes of daily SPF face moisturizer, and a sample of daily shave gel.

  • Rosebud Salve

    Care for your dry lips, skin, and the occasional burn with Rosebud Salve ($6). Made from cotton seed oil, aromol, and essential oils blended into a special petroleum base, this reddish salve helps sooth dry lips, can condition and moisturize dry, cracking elbows and knees, and as an added bonus also doubles — or is that triples? — as a diaper rash remedy.