We love ninjas, pirates, robots, and zombies here at Uncrate HQ, but there's only one of those that we'd actually consider becoming. Private Ninja Lessons ($200) can help you on your way to becoming a stealth assassin or just improving your self-defense skills. The 90-minute sessions — held in Bronxville, NY — are led by an actual Shidoshi, and include history, tradition, and philosophy lessons before the ninjutsu-based self-defense, awareness, and combat strategy practice begins, possibly including some weapons training, but most likely not teaching you how to effectively throw a ninja star.