Color us surprised that we'd find a great new jalapeño sauce in Hawaii, but Adoboloco Jalapeno Sauce ($8) certainly qualifies. Formulated to serve as a flavor enhancer, it's made from four simple ingredients — apple cider vinegar, jalapeño peppers, sea salt, and garlic — and offers a deliciously unique flavor with roughly the same heat as Tobasco. We'll be saying Aloha to a bloody mary infused with this stuff in the very near future.
What's the easiest way to trick someone into eating something that's ridiculously hot? Disguise it as candy, of course! These Ghost Pepper Candy Balls ($7) do exactly that, packing a heat rating of over one million SHU into an only mildly-hot looking candy ball that you really shouldn't try to pick up with your bare hands. So yeah, maybe that trick isn't such a hot idea after all.
Yes, it's from Jack in the Box. But it's also a Bacon Milkshake ($4). Made with bacon-flavored syrup — instead of the blended bacon you might have been hoping for — this gloriously thick pig-shake is totally "not revolting," according to a review. Available for a limited time only, so hit the drive-thru immediately.
Tired of paying premium prices for your favorite ghost chili-based, blow-your-taste-buds-off treats? Grow your own with some Ghost Pepper Seeds ($10-$30). Each of these packets includes 10 Bhut Jolokia (the Ghost Pepper's real name) seeds, as well as growing instructions. Skin-protecting gloves? Not included.
Worried about trying to actually bake with bacon? Wait until your cupcakes, cookies, or cakes are out of the oven and then amp them up with Bacon Frosting ($7). True to its name, this dark-red bacon-flavored frosting will add a blast of smoky sweet flavor to any culinary delight — just be careful, lest you be tempted to eat it all by itself like the weird bacon man is doing on the tube.
'Tis the season for eating stuff that you'll regret come summer, and since you're going to eat some diet un-friendly food anyway, why not gorge yourself on these Chocolate Peanut Butter Bacon Cookies ($20/6-pack). These chocolate cookies are spotted with what appear to be Reese's Pieces and chunks of bacon, giving them a rich, savory-yet-sweet flavor that you'll remember far into 2012. Oh, and if you use the coupon code HOLIDAY, you'll get 20% off your order — and a crappy Madonna song stuck in your head.
Forget the fudge — spice things up at your holiday gatherings by busting out these Chocolate Covered Jalapenos ($60-$90). Available in batches of one or two dozen, you get to choose the types of chocolate — dark, milk, white, or a few of each — to cover the outside of either sweet, spicy, or a mixture of sweet and spicy jalapenos, all of which arrive in a gift box that can be emblazoned with a seasonal message for just a few dollars more.
What is there to say? We're quickly approaching the holiday season, and that means candy canes. So why not get some Bacon Candy Canes ($5) instead of the traditional kind? They look the same, but taste like bacon, which means they'll go down a lot easier with all the beer you'll be drinking. Just make sure you don't get them mixed up — because nothing says "Happy Holidays" like a peppermint Grolsch. And by "Happy Holidays", we mean "sorry for puking on your dog".
Whether you're trying to quit a nasty snuff habit or just want a waterless way to get some caffeine, grab some Grinds Coffee Pouches ($13). Similar to smokeless tobacco, Grinds come in round canisters holding 20 pouches a piece, only these are packed with flavored coffee instead of the cancerous stuff, giving you a nice kick any time you need it. And there's no need to spit! It's like "brewing the coffee in your mouth," or something.
[Scouted by Michael]
You know that maple syrup from New Hampshire is good — a little too good, if you go by his reaction — and now you can enjoy the rich flavor of real syrup on your homemade flapjacks and frozen, cardboard-like toaster waffles with Best Made Pure Maple Syrup ($70). This is a full half-gallon of certified organic, pure US grade A medium amber syrup made by North Family Farms in Canterbury, NH, and is sure to give your famous-but-rarely-made peanut butter and banana-stuffed french toast just the extra kick it needs.
Well, we suppose it was only a matter of time. Aeroshot ($TBA) provides you with a portable burst of caffeine — 100mg of it, to be exact — via a fine powder that falls out of the air and dissolves instantly in your mouth. Oh, and since it's not liquid, you should be able to carry it through security, although we'd advise taking it easy on all the "fine powder" talk until you're well away from the aeropuerto. [Scouted by Sam]
The glorious god of cured meat has bestowed upon us a new bacon-only bakery, aptly named The Baconery. Among the sweet, sweet offerings, we found their Bacon Pumpkin Spice Muffins ($22/6-pack) and Bacon Blueberry Muffins ($22/6-pack) to be the first things added to our cart. We've yet to taste the creations, but we're seriously doubting there's any way to screw up such a thing as these swine-y breakfast cupcakes.