2011 Infiniti QX56

"To hell with climate change," you say, "I want to drive around in a small fortress." May we suggest the 2011 Infiniti QX56 ($56,700 and up)? This monstrous full-size SUV offers room for up to eight passengers, your choice of two-wheel or four-wheel drive, a 400hp 5.6-liter V8 engine, 8,500 pounds of towing capacity, an available nav system, Bose stereo, and dual seven-inch monitors, 22-inch wheels, an eight-inch WVGA touch screen display, and the ability to offend any hybrid-driving hippie you come across.

  • 2011 Volkswagen Touareg

    Lighter, sportier, and more fuel efficient than the original, the new 2011 Volkswagen Touareg ($TBA) is the next evolution of vee-dub's full-size SUV. The 2011 model weighs in a nearly 460 lbs. lighter than the previous generation, and offers a wide range of powerplants, including a hybrid that can be driven up to 30 mph on electricity alone. Other features include standard eight-speed automatic transmissions, two flavors of four-wheel drive — standard 4Motion and the more rugged 4XMotion — a 6.5-inch touch screen, Bi-Xenon headlights, the largest sunroof available on any SUV, Adaptive Cruise Control, optional 19-inch alloy wheels, and Lane and Side Assist to keep you in your lane and out of the way of blind spot dwellers.

  • Nissan Patrol

    While an official U.S. release is still up in the air, there's no doubt that the new Nissan Patrol ($TBA) will make quite a splash in other parts of the world. This full-size SUV offers a more refined interior than its predecessor, making good use of materials like leather, polished aluminum, and wood grain paneling, while offering wider, higher, and deeper front seats, and more legroom for second- and third-row passengers, as well. Other highlights include a 5.6L V8 producing 400hp, a new electronic 4-wheel-drive system with driver-selectable modes for different surfaces, a new four-wheel independent suspension system, and a butter-smooth seven-speed automatic transmission.

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