Sith Series Laser

Find the Spyder III blue diode laser to be just a little too wimpy for your needs? Say hello to Wicked's new Sith Series Laser ($600). Using a Spyder interconnector, this double-handed laser sports dual 1W Spyder 3 lasers, which can be used separately or in the Darth Maul-style configuration, ready to decimate eyes, skin, paper, and anything else unfortunate to be in the path of its mighty beams. Seriously though — don't screw around with this thing unless you have a few spare retinas and a legal team at your disposal.

  • Medieval Crossbow

    Whether you're gearing up for a dark ages reenactment battle, have a penchant for old weapons, or are simply looking for that last little something to complete your basement torture chamber, the Medieval Crossbow ($200) should do the trick. This completely handmade device sports an oak body, a steel arch, and 35 pounds of tension, or more than enough to overcome your foe's cheaply-made chainmail armour.

  • Coffee Joulies

    There's more to a perfect cup of coffee — or tea, for that matter — than selecting the right blend to brew: no one's going to be able to enjoy it with their taste buds burnt off. That's where Coffee Joulies ($40) come in. Thanks to a special non-toxic material that's sealed inside the Joulies' bean-like stainless steel shells, these wondrous creations help to cool down your drink to approachable levels faster than normal, then use the energy stored during that process to keep it warm.

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