Most humans spend a third of our lives asleep, so why wouldn't you want to monitor and improve that time as much as the portion you spend awake? The Zeo Personal Sleep Coach ($400) can help you do just that. The system consists of a headband with a SoftWave sensor to accurately track your unique sleep patterns, and a bedside display that shows the time, a graph showing your pattern of sleep phases from the night before, a "ZQ" single-digit representation of the quantity, quality, and depth of your sleep, a count of how long you actually slept and how long it took you to fall asleep, and more. For even more information, pop the SD card out of the display and into your computer to upload your data to Zeo's website, where you can get an even more detailed look at your sleeping patterns, and see personalized tips for getting your best night's rest.
We're not exactly sure what purpose it would serve beyond eventually rotting your teeth, but if you have a need for an amusement park-style vending machine, feast your eyes (and mouth) on the Giant Gumball Machine ($3,900). At seven feet tall, it will tower over most house guests — and you'd better be having a lot of people over to help you through the 14,450 gumballs (included!) it holds. Or better yet, charge a quarter a piece, and get close to earning your money back.