Body washes, cleansing bars, exfoliating scrubs, moisturizing creams — come on guys, do we really need all this? After all, we're still men. So get clean like a real man, with Chiefs Pine Man Wash ($29). It's all you need for your morning ritual, with a smell like fresh pine, and organic coconut and olive oils for a lather that will get you clean without leaving you feeling dried out. It's also non-toxic, biodegradable, and made in the USA, all while coming in one of the largest bottles on the market (16 ounces). So ditch all those extra bottles cluttering up your shower, stick with the basics, and keep it manly.
Sometimes a cup of coffee (or three) in the morning isn't quite enough to get you going -- and while you could take up running every morning, it would be a lot easier to just use Pacific Caffeinated Shaving Stuff ($10 and up). Every product in their line of shaving stuff is fortified with caffeine, helping to naturally constrict the veins in your face, keep your skin healthy with antioxidants, and absorb into your blood for a morning boost. Choose from their exfoliating wash, shaving cream, moisturizer, and after shave, each one made with caffeine. All of their products are made in the USA, not tested on animals, and made with a minty scent that invigorates you on even the roughest mornings.
If you're sick of cheap plastic combs that fall to pieces after only weeks of normal usage, it might be time to think about upgrading to the Octovo Ti Comb ($150). Made from high-grade titanium — the same material used in aerospace, marine, and automotive applications — this comb has a black titanium finish making it incredibly durable, lightweight, and resistant to the normal wear and tear that plagues inferior combs. It also comes in a custom Italian leather sleeve so you can take your comb anywhere. Available in limited quantities, this comb is nearly sold out, so get yours now, unless you want to deal with crappy combs for the rest of your life.
There are plenty of things in this world that are out of your control — the weather, tax increases, your mortality — but what you can control are your perfectly-sculpted nails, with this Czech & Speake Manicure Set ($560). This handsome leather-bound set includes eight tools for maintaining your nails — slanted tweezers, safety scissors, nail scissors, nail clippers, a nail file, toe nail clippers, cuticle nipper, and a double-ended cuticle tool — each tool is finished in a matte black coating, and is hand-made in Germany. The kit comes with convenient slots and loops for each of your tools, making them easy to transport and store.