Whether you're working or boozing late into the night, odds are you're going to wake up looking like Uncle Fester — at least around the eyes (the bald head is reserved for those with really dick friends). Nivea Eye Roller Gel ($9) is here to help you combat this condition. Harnessing the benefits of your skin's own Coenzyme Q10, which helps produce energy and works as an antioxidant to defend against free radicals, this gel glides on smoothly thanks to a rolling metal ball applicator, leaving you looking as fresh as those pantywaists that went to bed before last call.
The new Old Spice Fresh Collection ($5) at first seems a bit odd (who really wants to smell like "well-known lands" from across the globe?), but these subtle-scented antiperspirant/deodorants are indeed worthy of their worldliness. The destination-inspired, light-yet-manly scents include (in our rank of freshershist to fresh): Matterhorn ("smells like ice, wind & freedom"), Denali ("smells like wilderness, open air & freedom"), Cyprus ("smells like limes, an ocean breeze & freedom"), and Fiji ("smells like palm trees, sunshine & freedom"). Do your armpits a favor and introduce them to the world.
No matter how hard we try, we're still guys, and we tend not to take care of our hands as much as our partners would prefer. On The Job Hand Regimen ($19) does the hard work for you, with a waterless Hand Cleaner that removes dirt, paint, grease, and other nasty stuff by getting in between the dirt and your skin, a tough Hand Armor that forms a breathable polymer glove over your skin to help make cleanup even easier, and a dual-action Hand Lotion that packs a first-aid antiseptic and penetrating moisturizers to leave your hands feeling as soft as they should.
Keep clean and looking good while being your old, lazy self. Bread & Butter Skincare ($85) sends you a Winter Kit with all your bathroom essentials as soon as you place your order, and then in the first week of June, they'll send you their Summer Kit with warm weather specific face stuff. The winter kit includes two tubes of daily face cleanser, two tubes of daily face moisturizer, a stick of daily lip balm, and a sample of daily body moisturizer, while the summer kit comes with two tubes of daily face cleanser, two tubes of daily SPF face moisturizer, and a sample of daily shave gel.
There's nothing quite like a classic — and few shoe silhouettes say classic the way the 574 does, with a legacy that dates all the way back to 1988. Though plenty of new colorways have been introduced since the original gray, black, and white, none stand out like the New Balance Neon Lights 574. Available in several bold color combinations accentuated by bright neon highlights, these shoes feature glow-in-the-dark technology that illuminates them at night. Combining luminous accent colors with the cushioning of an ENCAP midsole, they're the ideal blend of time-tested wearability and unique, exciting style.
Care for your dry lips, skin, and the occasional burn with Rosebud Salve ($6). Made from cotton seed oil, aromol, and essential oils blended into a special petroleum base, this reddish salve helps sooth dry lips, can condition and moisturize dry, cracking elbows and knees, and as an added bonus also doubles — or is that triples? — as a diaper rash remedy.
Even the most sedentary and careful get the occasional nick or cut, so why not make the most of it with these Moustache Bandages ($7). Made from a mix of vinyl and latex, this tin of 25 bandages features a moustache graphic atop each and every one, making for some awesome wound dressings.
Avoid the aluminum and alcohol additives found in your average antiperspirant with Nickel Cold Sweat Deodorant ($19). This chilled water-based stick deodorant aims to help keep you dry by keeping you cool, leaves zero white residue, and can even be stored in the fridge — no joke — to help keep you even cooler on those hot days.
Luckily, the "3" in Nivea For Men Active3 ($17/3-pack) isn't for some crappy sequel like The Karate Kid, Part 3 — instead, it stands for crazy 3-in-1 action. Equal parts body wash, shampoo, and shaving cream, Nivea For Men Active3 aims to clean your whole body from head to toe, making it the only bottle you'll need to have in your shower.
Get your undercarriage good and clean with the Old Spice Deck Scrubber ($TBA). This manly bath scrubber — don't dare call it a loofa — will get every part of your "vessel" clean, including your back, front, and undersides.
From the makers of Baconnaise and Bacon Salt comes a bacon-flavored product that you don't even have to eat. J&D's Bacon Lip Balm ($13/4-pack) will protect your lips with beeswax, aloe vera oil, Vitamin E acetate, and other ingredients, all while offering a subtle bacon flavor both you and your partner can enjoy.
Possessing quite possibly the coolest underarm product name in the world, Kiehl's Superbly Efficient Anti-Perspirant & Deodorant Cream ($12) offers 24-hour protection against those most common of enemies — sweat and odor. It contains advanced micro-sized drying molecules to keep you dry, orange, lemon, and linseed extracts to keep you smelling nice, conditions your skin, and softens your underarm hair for easier shaving/trimming.
Keep your skin in check and yourself smelling good with the Portland General Store Men's Collection ($5-$25). Handmade in Maine using natural, high-quality ingredients, the lineup includes items such as shaving jelly, lotion, soap, aftershave, and cologne, available in a variety of ultra-manly scents like wood, whiskey, and tweed, packaged with incredibly awesome old-fashioned labels that will look great in your bathroom cabinet. [via]
Treat your face and body to an all-natural clean without breaking the bank with Burt's Bees Natural Skin Care for Men ($4-$25) Featuring a full range of products, from shaving soap and body wash to cologne and deodorant, it'll have you looking and smelling good in no time.
Ever wish you could just bathe yourself in your favorite lager? Well, this is sorta like that. Beer Soap ($5; $20/5-pack) is fine soap made using 100% beer as the liquid portion, with the rest made with a special recipe of olive oil, sunflower oil, unrefined shea and cocoa butters, and more. Available in many types of beer-specific varieties, these bars don't smell like beer, but instead offer just a hint of hoppy aroma as an additive to more complex aromas.
Clean your hands and your conscience with Further Hand Soap ($19). Made from the glycerin derived from the distillation of biofuel, Further is as eco-friendly a soap as you'll find, with fragrance made from essential oils of bergamot, olive and exotic grasses. In addition, it's never tested on animals, and is biodegradable, making it just slightly less green than that Prius in your driveway.
From razor burn to cuts and scratches, Skincando Combat-Ready Balm ($25) is your fix. Initially created for U.S. soldiers fighting in Iraq, this balm is perfect for patching up minor injuries and healing insect bites, razor burn, and plain old dry skin. It's 100% natural, made from all natural ingredients like Beeswax and Black Tea Extract. Just don't eat it.
Get your skin in check the way nature intended with ZIRH Natural ($20-$48). ZIRH's new line of skin care products includes facial cleanser, under eye cream (for those late nights), shave cream, facial moisturizer, facial scrub, and anti-aging cream, for keeping that Cryptkeeper look at bay for at least a few more months. [Thanks, Mario]
You're not going to go from Homer to Harnett with this stuff, but it just might make your barely-there 6-pack, completely-there. Sigma Skin Abdominal Toning Cream ($56) is formulated to help prevent localized fat deposits, slightly reducing your love handles and waist size. According to Sigma Skin's studies, 86% of volunteers who used the body sculpting cream for a month saw abdominal reduction, with some reducing their waist size up to 1.8 inches.