Basis Health Monitor

Keeping track of your health is hard. The Basis Health Monitor ($200) makes it easy. It's a watch, so you don't look weird wearing it around, and it packs a galvanic skin response sensor to track your sweatiness — and an optical sensor to track bloodflow — to paint an accurate picture of your health. Which means less doctor visits. Which means fewer hours spent looking at the tongue depressor jar.

Ink Butter

You paid plenty to get your ink done in a reputable shop, so why aren't you spending a minimal amount to make sure it stays in tip-top shape? Ink Butter ($18) is specially formulated to heal your tattoo and nourish your skin, with essential minerals, vitamins and antioxidants. Unless, of course, you were going for the aging sailor look.

Nike+ FuelBand

Leave it to Nike to try and create its own unit of measurement. The Nike+ FuelBand ($150) is a wearable bracelet that uses a built-in three-axis accelerometer to track the time, your daily steps, calories expended, and NikeFuel — a normalized score based on oxygen kinetics that awards points equally regardless of physical makeup. You can track your activity using the Nike+ website by syncing over USB, or hook up with your smartphone over Bluetooth and suck data into an app. Integrated LEDs in the wristband keep you informed of your current status and give you an easy red-to-green goal indicator. Basically, it's everything the Jawbone Up was supposed to be, but wasn't.

WaterRower Rowing Machine

Despite its elitist reputation, rowing is one of the most effective workouts around. Now you can get a real rowing experience in the comfort of your own home with the WaterRower Rowing Machine ($900-$2,500). The secret is the machine's WaterFlywheel, which is designed to emulate the exact dynamics of a boat moving through water, and thus offers the peacefulness of moving water, a proper rhythm of motion, and smooth motion not found in typical resistance rowing machines. It'll not only get you into shape, but also prepare you for the day when you win the lottery and suddenly need to find some common ground with your Ivy League neighbors.

Behold the awesome old school goodness of these vintage-printed, buttery-soft Homage T-Shirts. They turn back the clock with shout outs to eclectic moments and personalities in sports, music, politics and popular culture. From Bruce Lee to Larry Bird, the tees tell stories of triumph, individualism and hustle. Pay Homage.

Duke Cannon Big Ass Soap Brick

Yes, it's a ridiculous name, but in this modern age of supposedly chick-attracting body wash, a slap in face with a Big Ass Brick is just what some guys need. Based on the rough, "brick"-style of soap used by GIs during the Korean War, and manufactured in the same plant that provided that soap for over 20 years, the Duke Cannon Big Ass Soap Brick ($5) is three times the size of most soap, with steel cut grain for gripability, and a cool army green color.

Moustache Pomade

Style your 'stache like you style your hair with Moustache Pomade ($10). Made with organic ingredients and lightly scented with essential oils, it'll keep your upper lip in tip-top shape while keeping your growth under control.

Philips Norelco Vacuum Beard Trimmer

Ask any significant other that's had to clean up stray hairs off the bathroom counter: beard trimming is messy business. Thanks to the Philips Norelco Vacuum Beard Trimmer ($40), you can finally ditch the tarp-like towel you've been using to keep your cut hairs at bay and trim with freedom. Features include a precision length selector from 1/32 to 23/32 of an inch, maintenance-free blades, a lithium ion battery good for 50 minutes of trimming, and, of course, an integrated vacuum system to ensure a clean counter and happy housemates.

Braun Cruzer 6 Face Shaver

Whether you're going for a clean shave or transforming your Movember 'stache into a full-on beard, the Braun Cruzer 6 Face Shaver ($65) has you covered. Unlike most all-in-one trimmer/shavers, the Cruzer 6 has an extra wide shaving foil so it takes fewer strokes to mow the hair down, while the adjustable guard cuts things to just the right length, and the twistable trimmer gives you wide and narrow sides so you can get as close — and detailed — as you want.

Movember Almost Over

Ok, guys, today is the last day to donate to the Movember Uncrate Team if you haven't done so yet. Thanks to a big run the last couple weeks, we've raised over $17,000 and moved into 40th place overall. Great job. We truly thank everyone who has donated, and would appreciate one last push to try and hit $20,000. We'll be in touch with the winners soon. Our thanks to Bonobos for sponsoring this year's team. And special shout-out to Uncrater Mike Miller, who has raised over $4,000 all by himself. Uncraters Brian Morrissey and Alex Reinhart are not far behind, both raising over a grand each.

Bear Deodorant Protector

We interrupt your regularly scheduled Thanksgiving to bring you the best new product of 2011: The Bear Deodorant Protector ($20) from Old Spice. Buy one and protect the stuff that protects you from sweat and stank, while displaying a noble trophy of manliness right beside your sink for all to see. Available in limited quantities, so order yours fast if you think your Matterhorn needs protecting.

Urgent Movember Update

How are those staches coming along? Good. Keep 'em growing. Now, look, it's time we had a talk. Uncrate is read by over a million guys every month. But our Movember Uncrate Team somehow only has 137 members who have donated. We're not good at math, but we're pretty sure that's like not even half of one percent of you. Hell, we're not even in the top 100 team rankings. We don't ask you for much, but if you can't step up and double our donations and get us to at least 1,000 members by the end of the week, we're going to have to consider closing down Uncrate for the rest of the month to search for readers who have a heart. Then you'll be stuck at work with nothing awesome to look at except for that thing on the back of the guy from accounting's neck. But there's still time to make us proud, and to win some goods from Bonobos and the Uncrate prize closet. Donate what you can. Even if it's just $10. Don't let us down.

Wild Man Beard Conditioner

Is your Movember 'stache — and any accompanying growth — getting a bit unruly? Spread a couple drops of Wild Man Beard Conditioner ($13) around your hairy mug. A special blend of sweet almond oil, Vitamin E, and Essential Oils of rosemary, lavender, cedar, and lime, it'll prevent blemishes, keep your growth feeling soft, and give your face a subtle yet manly scent.