Let's be honest: your fish probably doesn't care what his surroundings look like, just so long as his water is clean and he's well fed. But you have to look at his bowl/tank every day, so you might as well make it stylish. The Umbra Fish Hotel ($35) certainly qualifies, featuring the clean, boxy lines of a modern home, a glass bowl, an ABS pastic facade, and a stackable design that lets you build an entire condo full of fishy friends.
Keep tabs on your pooch, kitty, or pet wildebeest with the Tagg Pet Tracker ($200). Using a sophisticated cocktail of GPS and wireless technology, the Tagg monitors your pet's location, alerting you via email and/or text if it leaves its "Tagg zone" — the area it spends most of its time, which is likely your home, unless you have your wildebeest guarding your secret, deep-woods grow operation — and runs on Verizon's data network, so you can rest assured you won't lose your pet due to a lack of coverage.
When your lovable turd factory needs to go out, sometimes it's a dire situation in which every second counts. And if your leash never seems to be where you left it, the Super Collar ($50) will be your new best friend. This collar-and-leash hybrid has a retractable 36-inch leash built right in that's made up of two coated steel cables with over 100lbs of break strength each. It's got waterproof polypro webbing and 3M Scotchlite reflective accents for those nighttime sessions.
Give your aquatic friend a living space upgrade with the Fishscape Fish Bowl ($140). Designed to hold 2.5 gallons of water, this handmade glass bowl features a unique bottom texture that appears as a mountainous landscape from the side. Sure, your fish might not notice the difference, but you will — and isn't that the point anyway?
Behold the awesome old school goodness of these vintage-printed, buttery-soft Homage T-Shirts. They turn back the clock with shout outs to eclectic moments and personalities in sports, music, politics and popular culture. From Bruce Lee to Larry Bird, the tees tell stories of triumph, individualism and hustle. Pay Homage.
Desktop-sized fish tanks are pretty common. Desktop-sized jellyfish tanks are not. This Jellyfish Tank ($350) was developed from the ground up specifically for Medusozoa by the experts at Jellyfish Art, and features full-spectrum energy efficient LEDs for illumination, an air diffuser for maximum oxygenation, built-in biological, chemical, and mechanical filtration, a bubble channel to shield the jellyfish from the air, and an included voucher good for three of the little menaces as well as a pack of food. [Scouted by Justin]
Is Rover's aging pad dragging down your carefully planned decor? Replace it with the Bambu Pet Hammock ($125). Made from sustainable exotic strand bamboo, it features a clean, modern, X-shaped design, along with a washable, reversible ultra-suede cushion that's secured to the base with stainless steel anchors and carabiners, giving it a sling-like feel that's great for your buddy's joints. If you've also got a food and water bowl setup that could use some sprucing up, spring for the matching diner ($65), made from the same material and featuring two high-grade stainless steel bowls.
Give your fishy friends something to do other than just glub around with the Labyrinth Aquarium ($5,500-$6,500). Made from Lucite, this six-globe aquarium is designed for tropical fish, and includes silk plants, three lights, filters, air pumps, and cleaning equipment, as well as an optional dedicated table in cherry, black, or carbon fiber. Just think of it as a BiOrb on steroids.
Nothing says "disgrace" quite like bending over to get a nice big handful of your dog's excrement. Avoid this unfortunate scene with the Pooch Power Shovel ($100). Sporting a powerful, built-in electric vacuum, it sucks the nastiness up into a biodegradable three pound bag, making it capable of handling anything from a teacup Chihuahua to an English Mastiff.
Put that Dyson Animal to real use by picking up the Dyson Groom ($70). This ingenius attachment is meant for use with medium and long haired dogs, and employs 364 retractable slicker bristles to remove loose hair from your dog, while suction captures the removed hair and dead skin cells, leaving your home hair-free and your dog's coat looking healthier. Just make sure you've got an upright vacuum to attach it to, as it isn't designed to work with canisters or handhelds.
You wear boots in the winter, so why not afford the same luxury to your furry, four-legged friend? Bark'n Boots Polar Trex ($90) are sets of four dog boots featuring Vibram Icetrek soles for traction, a three-layer laminated soft-shell upper for weather- and wind-resistance, ankle straps and an internal grip cuff for keeping the boots secure, and 3M Scotchlite reflective trim to make sure you can spot Fido in the dark.
Tired of your four-legged friend leaving paw prints, fur, scratches, or worse in your back seat? Pick up and hook up the Filson Dog Car Seat Sling ($85). Made from 12.3 ounce dry finish Tin Cloth and finished with green edge trim, this doggie hammock attaches to the front and rear headrests of your car using four adjustable straps, and keeps your buddy's mitts safely off the upholstery. Downside? There doesn't appear to be any holes for using a seat belt harness strap, so it'll be up to you to keep your pooch inside the car in the event of an abrupt stop or passing tennis ball.
Is Fido's plain-jane outdoor home bringing down the value of your palatial abode? Upgrade them to one of these Dog Mansions (€1,900-€2,950; roughly $2,325-$3,600). Available in the antebellum-style Alabama, contemporary-approved Cubix, Ikea-like Lönneberga, and the fanciful Fairytale, these high-end hound homes are made to order from premium materials like varnished wood and break-proof window glass, engraved with a serial number and delivered with a customized certificate. As if the damn furry things didn't cost enough already.