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Highland Park 50 Year Old

Normally single malt scotch comes in an understated bottle. That's definitely not the case with Highland Park 50 Year Old (£10,500; roughly $16,800) arrives inside a hand-carved oak box, with a Sterling silver porthole to tease at the unique handmade bottle inside, which itself is encased in an intricate weave of Sterling silver. Oh sure, the 44.8 percent alcohol whisky inside is extremely limited — only 275 bottles are being made — and it's part of five refill oak casks distilled in 1960, but if you're spending that much on booze, you probably don't even care.

  • Glenfiddich 50 Year Old

    Time to add another bottle to your list of "stuff I'd love to drink if I had the money." Glenfiddich 50 Year Old ($16,000) is an incredibly expensive, incredibly rare, and, presumably, an incredibly tasty whisky. Part of only the second-ever vatting of the half-century Glenfiddich — the first was done for founder William Grant's children — this unique spirit has spent the last 50 years in two oak casks, which were then combined and aged for another six months in an American oak barrel to create the well-balanced, pleasantly sweet flavor.

  • Mortlach 70

    If you don't mind spending your child's college tuition fund on a single bottle of scotch, you might need help, and you'll no doubt be interested in Mortlach 70 (£10,000; roughly $15,200). Distilled in 1938 — before most of our parents were even born — the world's oldest whisky is surprisingly spry, with a slightly sweet start, a long finish, and notes of dried fig and smoky tobacco throughout. Plus, it comes in a display-worthy package, so you can show off your liquor lunacy to friends, family, and psychiatric professionals.