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Food

Daneson Toothpicks

Whether you want to kick that nasty tobacco habit, need to do something about your offensive breath, or you just like constantly gnawing on something, Daneson Toothpicks ($20) are here to upgrade your oral fixation. They're made from North-American-sourced Northern White Birch (they are committed to milling sustainably), and come in a number of flavors — salted birch, cinnamint, lemon, mint, smoked, and single malt. The flavors come from high-quality ingredients like essential oils, scotch, herbs, and spices. Each box contains four nicely-packaged vials of picks.

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    Food

    23k Gold Chocolate Bacon

    It's hardly a secret that we have a bit of a taste for bacon — call it an obsession if you want. So, we were pretty excited when we found out that the mad culinary scientists at the Baconery had combined the awesomeness of bacon, the deliciousness of chocolate, and the luxury of gold to make 23k Gold Chocolate Bacon ($40). It's made with Nueske's Cherrywood Bacon, Guittard Semi-Sweet Dark Chocolate, and 23k edible gold flakes. Put it on a sandwich, eat it with your eggs, we don't care. Just don't let it go to waste.

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    Food

    Colon Cleaner Hot Sauce

    Well, at least it's not trying to hide its possible side effects (we're looking at you, Chipotle hot sauce). Colon Cleaner Hot Sauce ($14) is a devastating blend of mustard, scotch bonnet peppers, salt, onions, water, vinegar, sugar, and some other goods that's ready to add a healthy blast of heat to pretty much anything you put it on. Just use it wisely — and by wisely, we mean don't load up on it at breakfast before heading out to a festival where your only chance of relief lies in the line for the porta potty.