Norman Tugwater, Fantasy Sports Attorney
At your draft this year, keep an eye out for Norman Tugwater (Gary Busey), the fantasy sports lawyer of Adrian Peterson. YOU MUST PAY! (Or face the spork.)
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Mentos Spider
The Brock Lesnar of Arachnids sends one brave gentleman to the ER.
Dickies 874 Work Pant
While you're sitting at your desk watching Invisible Monkeys, just remember that there are hardworking men out there, also wasting company time, trying to destroy a pair of khakis with a wrecking ball. Watch them all here.
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Sorel Callsign Horizon GTX
Born from the rugged DNA of the iconic Caribou boot - designed to withstand Canada's harshest winters - the Callsign Horizon sneaker is a bold architectural evolution: honoring the brand's legacy while looking towards the future. Available in two silhouettes for both men and women - Low GTX and Mid GTX - the collection fuses heritage utility with bold design. The Low leans into sneaker style with all-season performance, while the Mid, featuring a higher profile, is built to conquer both snowstorms and city streets.
Presented by Sorel.
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Hydrow Arc Rower
The Hydrow Arc Rower is the next-gen, high-intensity upgrade in Hydrow's smart rower lineup—built for those who demand more from cardio. It features a larger 24-inch rotating HD display, electromagnetic drag resistance adjustable from 50-300 (with certain levels designed to mimic water) and a premium sound setup for immersive, stat-trackable workouts. The Arc retains the same structural robustness as its siblings—supporting up to 375 lbs, built with aluminum and steel frames—and elevates the experience with sharper visuals and upgraded performance tuning. It's Hydrow's premium choice for full-body training at home. Enjoy $100 off with code UNCRATE.
Presented by Hydrow.
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Skittles Giraffe
We always knew giraffes had to be good for something other than the trimming of tall shrubs and those terrific summer-weight fur coats. We kid.
Amazing Sword
If you only buy one sword this year, make it this one. Absolutely effortless 9-minute demonstration of the sword's awesome powers. Don't miss the meat boots.
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Nike Air Diamond Turf Shoes
First dropped in 1993 for two-sport phenom Deion Sanders, the Nike Air Diamond Turf was engineered to handle both the football gridiron and the baseball diamond with equal dominance. Nearly three decades later, the cross-training icon returns with a street-ready update that stays true to its roots—durable leather uppers, Nike Air cushioning in the heel and forefoot, and the unmistakable midfoot strap that locked down Deion's game. Built for stability, traction, and all-day wear, the Diamond Turf bridges performance and heritage with everyday style, securing its place as one of Nike's most legendary silhouettes.
Presented by Nike.
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Velocity Ford Bronco Blackout
Velocity's 1976 Ford Bronco Blackout pairs vintage attitude with modern muscle. Finished in Arabian Gray with blacked-out badging, bumpers, and a family-style roll cage, it makes an unmistakable first impression. Inside, upgraded leather and a Pioneer touchscreen with Apple CarPlay add comfort and tech, while a Gen III 5.0L Coyote V8 and 10-speed automatic deliver 460 horsepower. Wilwood brakes, coil spring suspension, and 17-inch Method Race Wheels complete a build that turns every drive into a statement.
Presented by Velocity.
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Quiznos Human Sandwich
Take that, Subway. You just got slapped in the face with all that Quiznos meat.
The Reality of Fantasy
The Titan's Chris Johnson gets proper treatment from the folks who own CJ2K in their fantasy football leagues. You do know you should be drafting Ray Rice this year instead, right?
ESPN's other fantasy commercials worth watching: Drafting Isn't Optional and Tuesdays Can Be Worse Than Mondays.
