Norman Tugwater, Fantasy Sports Attorney
At your draft this year, keep an eye out for Norman Tugwater (Gary Busey), the fantasy sports lawyer of Adrian Peterson. YOU MUST PAY! (Or face the spork.)
At your draft this year, keep an eye out for Norman Tugwater (Gary Busey), the fantasy sports lawyer of Adrian Peterson. YOU MUST PAY! (Or face the spork.)
The Brock Lesnar of Arachnids sends one brave gentleman to the ER.
While you're sitting at your desk watching Invisible Monkeys, just remember that there are hardworking men out there, also wasting company time, trying to destroy a pair of khakis with a wrecking ball. Watch them all here.
Private Label QR turns ordinary household labels into dynamic digital reference points, using durable QR stickers that link physical objects to editable information accessible from any smartphone camera. Once attached to a box, appliance, container, suitcase, or keepsake, each label can store notes, photos, instructions, contact details, or organizational data that can be updated anytime without replacing the sticker itself. The system feels especially useful for the kind of real-world friction most smart-home products ignore, from labeling moving boxes and organizing pantry goods to leaving appliance instructions for Airbnb guests or preserving the stories tied to family heirlooms. With no app required and built-in controls for private, public, or group visibility, the platform lands somewhere between modern inventory management and a digital memory layer for everyday objects.
Presented by PLQR.
MetMo brings the fractal vise into the 21st century with a compact design built for precision work. Featuring six independent movements, its fractal jaws conform to objects of virtually any shape, securely gripping delicate components and irregular materials alike. The versatile tool functions as a portable third hand, whether mounted to a workbench, packed into a toolbox, or integrated into a larger workshop setup. Ideal for intricate projects and detailed craftsmanship, the Fractal Vise combines historic engineering with modern manufacturing. Available in black or stainless steel finishes, it offers either 32mm or 82mm jaw openings to accommodate a wide range of tasks.
Presented by MetMo.
We always knew giraffes had to be good for something other than the trimming of tall shrubs and those terrific summer-weight fur coats. We kid.
If you only buy one sword this year, make it this one. Absolutely effortless 9-minute demonstration of the sword's awesome powers. Don't miss the meat boots.
Take that, Subway. You just got slapped in the face with all that Quiznos meat.
The Titan's Chris Johnson gets proper treatment from the folks who own CJ2K in their fantasy football leagues. You do know you should be drafting Ray Rice this year instead, right?
ESPN's other fantasy commercials worth watching: Drafting Isn't Optional and Tuesdays Can Be Worse Than Mondays.
Augustinus Bader's The Retinol Serum rethinks traditional retinol treatments with a formula designed to deliver visible skin renewal without the irritation that often comes with high-performance vitamin A products. Powered by the brand's proprietary TFC8 technology alongside pure retinol, the lightweight serum targets fine lines, wrinkles, uneven texture, blemishes, and hyperpigmentation while supporting hydration and overall skin balance. The result is a more refined approach to retinol, one engineered to improve clarity, firmness, and smoothness without compromising the skin barrier in the process.
Presented by Augustinus Bader.
Hims is simplifying weight loss with a fully online, personalized program built around clinically proven GLP-1 treatments. The platform now offers access to FDA-approved Wegovy in both pill and pen forms, paired with tailored plans based on your health, goals, and lifestyle, all without insurance. A new membership model drops the barrier to entry to $39 for the first month and $149 thereafter, unlocking 24/7 messaging with licensed providers, a dedicated care team, and ongoing adjustments to keep progress on track. Medication starts as low as $149 per month if prescribed, with continuous guidance across nutrition, movement, and sleep. It's a streamlined, expert-led approach that replaces one-size-fits-all programs with something far more precise and accessible.
Presented by Hims.
Consult a physician before consuming any new supplement or medication. Any health claims made are solely those of the brand and not those of Uncrate.
So Dodge made a commercial with a monkey in it. Then PETA bitched. So Dodge did the sensible thing and removed him from the ad. Here's the original.
Dear Starburst, we want more commercials starring this annoyed undead gentleman. You are boring us back to death with your other commercials.