At your draft this year, keep an eye out for Norman Tugwater (Gary Busey), the fantasy sports lawyer of Adrian Peterson. YOU MUST PAY! (Or face the spork.)
The Brock Lesnar of Arachnids sends one brave gentleman to the ER.
Vita Coco has become the warm-weather essential for a generation constantly on the move, delivering a cleaner, more functional answer to hydration during another brutal summer of record-breaking heat. Packed with naturally occurring electrolytes — including 3.5x more than the leading sports drink — the brand's coconut water helps replenish what long commutes, beach days, workouts, and heat waves quickly drain away, without the artificial colors or overly sweet formulas crowding store shelves. Equal parts refreshing and performance-minded, Vita Coco bridges wellness and lifestyle with an easy-drinking formula that feels just as at home in a gym bag as it does beside a rooftop pool, making it one of the smartest ways to stay cool when temperatures refuse to cooperate.
Presented by Vita Coco.
Hims is simplifying weight loss with a fully online, personalized program built around clinically proven GLP-1 treatments. The platform now offers access to FDA-approved Wegovy in both pill and pen forms, paired with tailored plans based on your health, goals, and lifestyle, all without insurance. A new membership model drops the barrier to entry to $39 for the first month and $149 thereafter, unlocking 24/7 messaging with licensed providers, a dedicated care team, and ongoing adjustments to keep progress on track. Medication starts as low as $149 per month if prescribed, with continuous guidance across nutrition, movement, and sleep. It's a streamlined, expert-led approach that replaces one-size-fits-all programs with something far more precise and accessible.
Presented by Hims.
Consult a physician before consuming any new supplement or medication. Any health claims made are solely those of the brand and not those of Uncrate.
While you're sitting at your desk watching Invisible Monkeys, just remember that there are hardworking men out there, also wasting company time, trying to destroy a pair of khakis with a wrecking ball. Watch them all here.
We always knew giraffes had to be good for something other than the trimming of tall shrubs and those terrific summer-weight fur coats. We kid.
If you only buy one sword this year, make it this one. Absolutely effortless 9-minute demonstration of the sword's awesome powers. Don't miss the meat boots.
Take that, Subway. You just got slapped in the face with all that Quiznos meat.
Switching wireless carriers has traditionally involved enough friction to keep most people exactly where they are, but T-Mobile is trying to remove that excuse with a streamlined digital process designed to get customers through checkout in 15 minutes or less per line. The experience focuses on speed and simplicity, allowing users to switch online or through the T-Life app while keeping the device they already own. To further lower the barrier, T-Mobile's Keep & Switch program offers up to $800 via virtual prepaid card to help pay off eligible phones when customers make the move, creating a proposition that is equal parts convenience and cost savings.
Presented by T-Mobile.
Streamlining nutrition down to a single scoop, the Factor Meal Shake is built for efficiency without sacrificing substance. Each serving delivers 30 grams of whey protein, 7 grams of fiber, and a full spectrum of vitamins and minerals, creating a balanced, meal-level profile that supports energy, satiety, and muscle maintenance. Designed to mix in under a minute, it fits into busy routines as easily as a morning coffee, while a clean formula free of artificial flavors and seed oils keeps things straightforward. The result is a no-frills, high-function shake that replaces complexity with consistency, turning daily nutrition into something you can actually keep up with.
Presented by Factor
The Titan's Chris Johnson gets proper treatment from the folks who own CJ2K in their fantasy football leagues. You do know you should be drafting Ray Rice this year instead, right?
ESPN's other fantasy commercials worth watching: Drafting Isn't Optional and Tuesdays Can Be Worse Than Mondays.
So Dodge made a commercial with a monkey in it. Then PETA bitched. So Dodge did the sensible thing and removed him from the ad. Here's the original.